Banner created by Irish Diablo Random Bits of Pomposity: Dammit!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Dammit!

I was so close to finishing up with the Pergo, without mishap, till I got to the last closet off the hallway.
I think I mentioned before that I chose to rip out, and replace the old floorboards (in all rooms), with something a lil more...elegant. In cramped spaces, its much more efficient to rip out the old stuff, lay the wood, and then nail in the new floorboards. Trust me.

So, anywho, I'm crunched into this lil space with my trusty crowbar and mallet, pryin' that old chit off, whistlin,' "I've Been Werkin' On The Railroooooad", when...."Wut tha fuck?!" I feel mah ass, not only cold from the concrete, but WET!
This can't be good. There is water, oozin' out, two fukkin' feet from hundreds of dollars worth of hardwood!

I'm alone in tha coonass crib, so I jump tha fuck up, run for a cresent wrench, and haul ass out to the water main to shut it off, only to be greeted by "Momma Black Widda", and her precious "pod" of unborn killas.
FUCK!

Lil T don't sprint so good (try it with fawty D tits!), but sprint I did. Spectricide was in tha garage, and I needed it. (That stuff is da BOMB, peeps! Its advertised as a "flying insect killer", but it's chemical composition ELECTROCUTES just about any critter, in.it's.tracks.

Spectricide in hand...run, run, run! Assassinate killas! Turn off water. Return to crib to assess damage.

Apparently, when I nail-gunned in the original floorboards (a few years ago), I punctured a copper waterline behind the sheetrock. Luckily, the nail didn't pass entirely through the two inch pipe. Equally lucky, the blunt force of nail gunning (as apposed to hand-hammering) "forced" the copper to mold around the nail, and prevented leakage...'til a few days ago. Ugh.

Now, I know how to solder (natch!), but the hole was way tha fuck down by the foundation, and awfully close to a wooden stud. For the life of me, I couldn't figger out how to get 'round the back of the pipe without burning down mah crib.

One hour, and eighty bucks later, "Buttcrack Bob the Plumber" (eva notice, most plumber, carpenter-types always bees showin' they crack?) had me hooked up and ready to roll. (Thankie, "Buttcrack Bob"!)


I patched the hole in the sheetrock mah ownseff. Ain't I talented?! Maybe I should trade in my fins and tanks for a toolbelt and some low-slung britches. I do have a most awesome buttcrack.



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