This...

...is what was left of the tree, all sixty-some-odd feet of it, that crashed across two lanes of traffic, right in.front.of.my.car., today, on my way home from work.
No enthusiastic warning of "timmmberrrr", although I half expected to look over to see some dip-shit public worker, holdin' a chainsaw, with an "Oh FUCK!" look on his face.
Peoples, it moved in like....sloooow fuckin' motion, and then it EXPLODED when it hit the asphalt, right.in.front.of.me. (repeated for emphasis)
God DOES exist.
When I made it back with the camera, some doods in reflective gear were cuttin' that puppy up into movable pieces.
"Hey! That sucker almost k.o.'d my P.T.(Cruzer)".
"No shit?! You tha one that called 911?!"
Missed me by a pube hair folks. No shit. Well, there was shit (skid-marks, ok?! Fuck you!)...and I peed...a lil.