Random...And Stuff

I had quite an engaging conversation with a fellow blogger last nite. So engaging, I totally lost count of the alcoholic beverages I swilled like a fukkin' wino, who has found a fiver in his beggers cup.

T'was a female I was a'chattin' with, so I know I didn't suggest phone sex. (DID I?)

Geesh Louise, did I have a hang-around this moanin'!

Hey, ya know those people that say if ya' only drink the "good stuff," you won't get a hangover? THEY LIE!
Motha fukkas.

That drumset that pounded this morning (every .single. time I opened mah damn mouth), was the very same one that riffed the day after that time I drank tequilla (and ate the worm), and Blue Hawaiians that turned my shit blue for three days afterward.

Bleech.

Last night, however, I was drankin' Crown...RESERVE. Same effect. Minus the blue shit....so far.

Annny who...
I like, totally forgot that I had promised the youngest child that I would taxi he and his without-sin friends to church this morning, and since I didn't want my ticket to hell pre-stamped, I drug mah ass outta bed.

And showered.
And stuff.

Then, I hadda be like... a grown-up, and stuff, when the without-sin kiddos couldn't decide which church they wanted to attend.

I personally thought the Catlick church would be a good choice, since I might could get a lil hair o'tha dawg, what with the communal wine n all, but da Good Faddah frowns upon gulping at the communal cup (Party pooper. Read: BOGART! I am SO goin' to hell....), and the idea of genuflecting for an hour flew in the face of common sense, as spewing chunks in the middle of all dem "Our Father's", is just plain tacky.

Dang. What a helluva run on sentence THAT was.

So, we went Baptist. There's one right down tha road (and on every freakin' corner, along with a Dollar General, hea in Mississloppy), after all, and they got that "Once saved, always saved", guarantee goin' onnnnnnn. Praise be.

Oh, I suffered for my sins, oh gentle readers. Lawsy, how I suffered. Refrain after refrain of "Amazing Grace", by off-key sangers, pierced my brain like an ice-pick, and I just knew my eyeballs were gonna EXPLODE when that flowery-hat-wearin' , perfume- bathin' woman (whale), leant over to "greet" me. Erg.
Small victory when she recoiled from the blended whiskey that ooooozed from my pores (despite my 30 minute shower), as I "greeted" her in reply.

*snort*

"Thas wut ya' get for sittin' next to such a sinner!"

After church, I taxied all the without-sins chirrens over to Books-A-Million for the newest Yo! Gi Oh (howeva you spell it!), books, which I personally think are works of the devil, since they are published....BACKWARDS. Doh.

While there, I had the pleasure of gazin' 'pon one of those thieves, that reads entire magazines (without buyin' nary a one), as he licked. every. single. page. before turning, and then put. it. back. on. da. shelf.

Bleech.

Anyway, I've lived to sin another day, as that is (apparently), His will, and He shall forgive me my trespasses, as I am (for the most part), a pretty decent person. Hang-around n all.

Hope ya'll had a pleasant Sunday.
And stuff.