Sooooo...

...I bought this obscenely huge-ass television (Any of my femme readers have an inner-penis that compells you to do manly, stoopid shit like buying a huge-ass television?), and it has "hi def".
Sooooo, I hadda call the cable company to send da cable guy to do the necessary up-grades.

"Ms Coonass, we will send someone out as soon as possible to take care of your needs", which (to me), is about the same as sayin', "When the ozone layer depletes, and we are all crispy-fried, like oh-so-much human calamari, we'll be there."

But, I was wrong.

My cable guy showed up on Friday; weighed heavily by his tool belt to better showcase his wonderous butt crack.
Figgers.

Ya' think, if I asked ahead of time (tip included), I could get a guy dressed as a Marine or a fireman, to hook up mah shit? Just askin'.

At any rate, my cable guy did a wonderful job, and we are now sittin' purdy with more channels of hi-def stuff than we can surf.

Thanks.

Folks...
Meet my cable guy...
Larry.
No shit.