"Excuse Me. Are These...

...your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage."

Yes fellas, I have breasts. I understand that they are a tad large, 'cause guess what?! I have to haul 'em around all the time!

That said, those two statements, and the (unfortunate) fact that you are breathing, does NOT give you the right to openly STARE AT THEM IN PUBLIC!

There are times, when I will wear a low-cut, form-fitting shirt, hossin' them puppies out there to attract you beasts with peni, but hey!...today in the hardware store WASN'T ONE OF THOSE TIMES!

Prick.

The young, homeschoolin' child is building a control board for one of his gaming systems, and was hinting at some "sweeeeet, black, metal flake paint", for the finishing touches.
I'm a kind and giving mommie. Till ya' piss me off.

The paint section in Lowe's is in the front of the building, only about 20 feet from the front door, but I SWEAR TO GOD, that brain dead, paint sniffin', knuckle draggin' Neanderthal behind the counter openly GAWKED at my breasts, from the time that I walked in, till I was standing in front of him, telling him what I needed.

Gauche prick.

"Helloooooo! My HEAD is up HERE! It's that lump, three feet above my ass!"

Don't get me wrong. I HAVE glanced at a "package " or two in my time, but hell! We ALL know that a jean-clad weiner proves NOTHING. "Lil Limpy" could, quite possibly, grow into a monster, but you won't see me staring!!!...eyes PLEADING...."Oh pahleazzzze baby, tighten up them britches so's I can seeeee that python!"

No, gentle readers, I have a bit of class...some dignity...some reserve. I'll wait till I trap ya' in the men's room. bwaaaahahahahah!
Ok. I'm kiddin.
But still.

And I DID say those things to the gauche, lil prick.
But, you knew that already. Din't ya?