I Went To Walmart...

...for dog food and coffee. Yes, I know. Sounds insane, but Wally Werld is the ONLY store in my area (armpit of HELL), that sells my brand of both of the afore mentioned products.
I bought:
1) A case of asswipe. Being full of shit does have it's disadvantages.

2) A jumbo box of Platex Gentle Glide crotch mice. I personally don't own a uterus any more, but my neighbor cellied me, and she's hemorrhaging, so I was happy to oblige.

3) A frozen chicken-fried steak dinner. Eh...LOOKED good on tha fuckin box. After micro-zappin that mother, the gravy looked like man spooge, and the "steak" tasted like ass. *boink* Reminder to seff: "Doofus! We don't LIKE frozen dinners. Nor man ,spooge,unless it's deposited in the APPROVED "off-loading" repositories. .. No, dickhead! I DON'T like it when you smear your spooge on my motha fuckin FACE! Ooops...off topic Lil One..."

4) A ball and paddle thingy. Unless you wanna know more 'bout my sexual proclivities, DON'T ASK.

5) A fucshia spatula. See numba fo!

6) 30 pairs of drawers for my 15 year old, and 4 sets of new sheets. He's 15! Nocturnal ejaculation, and all THAT shit. I just pitch tha dirties. Boxers that STAND on their own, FREAK ME THA FUCK OUT! Ewww...

The white, crusty stuff in wimmen's panties (clitty litter), however, is bio-degradable, and will NOT deplete the ozone layer.

FUCK YOU! Warsh yer own got-damned drawers!

And...drum roll phaleeeezeee...

Numbah...

7) One hunnert and fifty dollas of otha SHIT, that I DID NOT NEED!!!

post script....
I forgot tha fuckin coffee.