Diving For Dentures

Yup, ain't my life exciting?
The Ten-Tom River was a mite chilly this morning, but hey...somebody's gotta do it.
And, I gotta tell ya, dentures must be expensive, cause my services don't come cheap. I charge, per "punch" (dive), whether I find your stuff or not, and in advance.
"Um, Mr. Toothless Cuntry Bumpin', how exactly did your teeth end up in tha drink?"
"Whal, I'd had me a hogshead cheese sammich, and I took a swaller of beer to rinse out tha lil hard pieces, and when I leant over the side of tha boat to spit, out she went!"
"Um hmmmm."
To borrow a phrase from another blogger, "Charmin', just flippin' charmin'."
Off to clean my equiptment, but I'll be back. I got some shit to say to my *cough*, vast audience.